Yet another chapter in my life, this one was probably the most recent one and not a very happy one either. Where I find these men? I don't know, but they are out there and they love the shit out of me.

I will call him John

Although that is not his name and well he's not even from America, but after you read my story about him, you'll know why I chose to hide his id. I can't say that I never had a stalker before him, because I had my fair share of psycho obsessed men, but this one was probably pretty psycho from the get go.

I met him as he came into my office and repaired our computers. It turned out that he was the proprietor and owner of that particular company. We exchanged glances and then we exchanged emails and cell numbers. He seemed like a gentleman and he was very charming. He was from Prague, he lived in America for only 2 years, he moved to Riverside California shortly after that because his business was booming. But he vowed to keep pursuing me, because well he was attracted to me. I was surprised. He had this gorgeous accent and was trying to teach me different words in Czech.

So one night while on a late night phone call, we got deep into our pasts. He was a widower and he was 24 years old, a couple of years younger than me. His wife was shot in Prague while she was 7 months pregnant. How tragic, he hadn't dated anyone since. His was a gothic fellow and at times described things that seemed very sadistic at times, but I brushed it off as him just being kinda kinky.

Another night we had another late night talk but this time it was via messenger and I asked to see a picture of his wife. I felt bad for him and I knew he was still trying to deal with it. I opened up the attachment and he sent three pictures of her, they all looked like me. Exactly like me, well if I had really pale skin. But she had the same style of hair, black, same almond shaped hazel eyes. I got chills down my spine. I tried to excuse it, it's just a coincidence I thought. Besides so whaat if I look like his dead wife, he's just dealing with it right? Well then I found out later in the conversation that his grandfather shot her and he is now in a Prague prison serving time for her murder. Nice. I tried to back away from the conversation, I was already getting the creeps, then he wanted to cyber flirt with me, telling me things like that I was so hot, he wanted to make me his chandlier so that every time he enters his house I'd be the first thing he sees. Okay, I thought, this is a new one. I made up some major trial for the next few weeks as a means to let go of this very sick relationship.

Then one night, he calls me, of course I don't answer. He said he had a dream about me and that he would email me what he was dreaming and then I received this email:

Now on to the dream...well here we go...you picked me up from the airport...our energy and attraction was like static electricity while we talked and laughed in the car...i asked you how much further we had to go...you said like 25 minutes...i said i felt car sick and if you could pull over...i got out in the nite air and said i needed something from my suitcase so you opened the trunk...i checked for cars nothing...before you knew it...you were zapped with a stun gun...your legs turn to jelly...you try to emit a scream but it's nothing more than a quiet whimper...your eyes are the only thing working...you see the inside of your trunk...you hear handcuffs clicking...sound of duct tape as your limp legs are bound at the ankles and knees...your hair is pulled back and you try to move your lips and scream as you see me approach your face with a strip of tape...you know it's to cover your mouth...your eyes wild with wonder fear and amazement...your pushed into your trunk as the effects of the stunning wear off you start to struggle but it's no use...you can move your fingers and head...i lean in and kiss your forehead giggling of my accomplishment...i use a flashlight to show you a polaroid picture i took of you right after i stunned you...all you see is your legs and soles of your feet dangling out the trunk of your car...you struggle and scream at me as i close the trunk but the tape holds firm and it's all muffled...your car starts and starts moving...after what seems like forever the car stops...you struggle more hoping if you make enough noise someone might here you...finally the trunk opens and you resume your struggles and your stunned again
the duct tape is removed quickly with a knife and a scarf is used to gag you this time...as you regain movement this time since your legs are free you try and kick at me...and get a lil cut from my knife on your neck...as a warning...i pull you out and put you on your unsteady barefeet in the parking lot of the hotel...i whisper to you...be a good girl and i'll let you go later...i walk your stumbling self through the hotel...nobody can see the scarf gag cus your hair is all over the place blocking their view...someone asks if your ok and you think this might be the chance to escape but you feel the knife in your ribs and think better of it...and i simply reply to the concerned person you drank too much...he laughs and moves away on his own...we get to the room and i shove you in and you fall on the bed...you sit up and watch what i'm doing...i'm setting up a camera...i come over to you and grab a handful of hair and look at where i nicked your neck and lick it...i look into your brown sultry eyes and run my hands through your hair so i can see your beautiful face...and i nibble your lips around the scarf gag...then push you down on the bed...and pull up your skirt...and cut your undies off...i feel your crotch...and get up and go in the bathroom...i come back in the dim light...you feel warm water on your crotch and suddenly a razor...i'm shaving your crotch smooth...and dry it off...i turn on the camera and set up it's light right on your face...as i pull you off the bed and lean you over the arm of the couch...
the camera is inches from your face but you can just see that all that is being recorded is your face...you feel your ass cheeks spread wide and a cool bunch of droplets hit it's smooth firm surface...before you realize that i just lubed your anus i shove myself in your ass...you start to struggle and move your head but i grab your hair and keep your face in the cameras view and i fuck you and fuck you til i'm done...when i'm done i let your head flop forward...your exhausted...you feel me wiping you clean back there...and the handcuffs removed...i sit on the couch near you...hands free but your soo tired hard to move...i take you and pull you up on my lap and slide myself into your slick lil pussy...i hold you up to me facing me and remove the gag...your eyes are tired but glowing...as you ride my lap harder and harder my hands holding your waist on me our eyes never move from each other...you move faster and faster our eyes still locked on each others eyes...finally i feel you coming as am i...we both feel each other building up and still keep our eyes fixed together...forehead to forehead...you put your arms around me...and it happens we cum at the same time...when it's over i kiss your forehead and lay you on the couch...i put your shoes on your lap...you know your free to go now...you see me put a roll of duct tape on the table next to the handcuffs...you watch me and i look back at you and you see my eyes pointing you to the cuffs and tape...i walk outside to smoke on the balcony...after i'm done i come back in the room and the room is dark...i expect you to be on the bed...i come up and i feel your foot...i bend down and find the other and kiss them...your on your stomach...you move slightly...aw i find out you are a good girl...you put the duct tape over your own mouth and handcuffed yourself for me...

I wrote back to him and lied and told him that my boss was transferring me to Matamoros, Mexico and that I could no longer talk to him anymore.

I can't make that shit up if I tried. I have been with some psychos, but he by far topped it. I think he was even crazier than my ex husband. I still have the email and I forgot about it for awhile. I kept it because for weeks after that, he kept calling my phone, sending me emails, messaging my myspace, upset because I wouldn't talk to him anymore. I had a few voicemails where he was crying, screaming and I think cussing me out in Czech. I mean I looked like her and he was going to lose "her" again. I thought I wonder if he was like this when he was with her. Or did the trauma of losing his young wife and child fucked him up inside. I didn't know and I didn't care anymore at that point. I had my life, my children to think about. And I wasn't going to be anyone's fucking chandilier!!!!

What I learned from this "Subtle Libra", NEVER judge a book by it's cover. NEVER GO TO PRAGUE!! Sure there was more courting in this story, but the psycho moments seemed to outweigh the nice little things he did for me. After him I did a background check on everyone that I could. He sounded like he had been planning that email for a while and he threatened to come and find me, which is why I kept the email.

I still am a little shaken up by it. I have seen some crazy shit, been hit, cut, stabbed, beat up, threatened and seen some crazy random acts of violence. But that was the thing, they were random acts of violence, done on a whim. What this guy wanted to do was torture, I don't think I could have been strong enough to survive that. So why am I writing about it? I can kinda laugh about the situation that might have been because I dodged a bullet from what could have been a serial killer for all I know. But it serves a reminder for what I am lucky to have in my life right now.

P.S. Hostel came out a year later after that ordeal, needless to say I was at the edge of seat totally scared of what could have happened to me. I still fear it.